Blog On The Motorway

After some deliberation the decision has been made that now is the time to unleash onto the world our new project, so get down on your knees, and make Demon Pigeon your new God.

That is not to say that we’ve gone live with it just yet, but more that we’re getting quite bored of not telling anyone about it.  Besides, it might be a good idea to build expectations, so that we can roundly let those same expectations down when we launch in January.

To wit, expect nothing short of the greatest website that your eyes have ever witnessed, and prepare those same eyes to weep with unbridled joy at the marvellous spectacle. Oceans will shift, cities will be levelled. Women and children will tremble in fear.  Governments will fall.  It’s all gonna be a bit epic, to be honest.

So what is Demon Pigeon, you may well ask yourselves.  Well at the moment it’s a holding page, but come January the somethingth (we’re not altogether decided on that) it will be a metal site, chocked full of news, reviews, interviews and more.  Unlike other sites out there, we will also be covering areas that are of general interest to metalheads, from books to comics to film to art.

But who these magnificent bastards who will be helping me with this endeavour?  You may well ask.  My Co-Editor and all round fancy gent is Daniel Cairns, and he will also be running the new @demon_pigeon Twitter feed.  If you are on Twitter, go follow us now, since Dan is a lot funnier than I am. 

As well as this we also have Games Junkie extraordinaire Andi Hamilton. And no, it’s not the little writer of Drop The Dead Donkey, and yes, I’m as disappointed as you are.  Also joining us is Noel Oxford, writer extraordinaire, and fellow escapee with Dan from another metal site.  Rounding out the team is Dom Sohor, who will be making the whole place look awesome with his lovely shiny visuals, and occasionally words too.  Go check out his gallery, it’s full of awesome.

So that’s the big news that I couldn’t tell you, so consider yourselves duly told. If any of you are massively disappointed by this, you know what to do.

So again I have to say that my brain is currently totally tapped out, due to having to think about too many things, all the time.  My normally docile brain has been suddenly expected to leap into action on a number of different fronts, and so as I sit down to write this blog I can think of absolutely no topic to ramble on about. So instead I shall ramble on about nothing.

Yesterday something happened which made me a little nervous about the series of tasks which I have chosen to undertake. I was writing some stuff for BOTM, trying to get a good amount of stuff down in advance of launching, when I found that nothing good was coming to me. I had written 500 words of badly written Dan Brown nonsense, all short sentences with no joy in them whatsoever.

Normally once I have sat down to write I am fine. My version of writer’s block is closer to writer’s avoidance. Once I actually sit down, it all comes tumbling out of me faster than I can type, but yesterday what wrote was so utterly terrible that I deleted the whole lot without thinking.  I hope that my brain has not atrophied from neglect. That would be awful.  No need to panic just yet though.

Yesterday was the finale of Generation Kill, and I’ve written about it often enough that I don’t feel I can let its end go unmentioned. It was predictably brilliant. Subtle and complex, with no easy resolutions, but with excellent insight into our recent misadventures in that region.  Highly recommended. I am definitely going to search the book out.

I spent a small section of my day yesterday waiting in a waiting room, surrounded by sick people. It’s as though the medical establishment thought to themselves that the best way to get people out of waiting rooms would be to make them dens of interminable despair, where you are cocooned in with lots of people who are ill of a variety of different ailments while unadorned walls of grey seem to close in on you. Since the Swine Flu panic started they have become even worse, with no leaflets or magazines available to pass them time, so you spend the whole time glowering at those people who have the temerity to cough or sneeze in your presence.  I coughed at one point, and nearly found myself reassuring everyone that it was simply a smoker’s cough.

So that’s about it really. I shall continue to trundle through the day with zero enthusiasm, and hope that tomorrow I feel like skipping through fields of daisies. Metaphorically speaking of course, since Daisies are thin on the ground in winter, and it’s cold out, and besides I’m not really the skipping kind of person.

Not gonna be much in the way of blogging today, as I am busy writing the first few issues of Blood On The Motorway.  I think once it is up and running I want to post new entries at least twice a week, so I am aiming to get a good 12 or so in the bank before the site goes live, so I can focus on the other two sites I have rather idiotically decided to launch at the same time.

If you are looking for something to read, you should really go and look at the NME’s list of the top 50 albums of the last decade, especially if you are looking for something to fill your belly with incandescent rage and bile.  It worked for me.

So today was supposed to be Cross Blogination but I haven’t had the chance to do it yet so that’ll be tomorrow.  I’m mega busy at the moment but I just wanted to say that I am currently a very excited Paul.

I’ve mentioned before that I have got a couple of projects lined up for the new year.  One of these in particular I have agreed not to talk about until its ready to launch. But I want to talk about it. But I can’t. So I’m going to be vague and cryptic instead. I do hope you don’t mind.

Today heralded some excellent news, because through the magic of twitter I contacted someone who is a little bit of an idol of mine, in writing terms.  I’m sure he would shudder at the prospect of being anyone’s idol, but I’ve been reading his work for many many years, and it was his work, biting and witty and blunt, that was the first of its kind to really stand out to me. Put simply he is one of the reasons I wanted to become a writer in this particular field. 

I met him a few years back and was a bit overly gushing, so since then I’ve tried to keep my fandom a bit under the radar when talking to him on Twitter.  It’s wierd how the strangest people become idols in your field. I suppose it’s a bit like entrepreneurs becoming fans of Alan Sugar.  Anyway, it’s not like I follow him around, or even read every single thing he writes, but his influence on me was profound at a particular moment for me.

So anyway, today I sent him a message telling him briefly about the project we are working on, and asking if he had any advice. He messaged back and said that he’d be glad to share it, and also he’d be glad to contribute some writing to it.  So now we have one of the biggest and best writers around bringing his considerable expertise to bear on our little project, and suddenly it all feels very real, like something we can actually achieve.  I am quite excited about this project, I’m working with some really talented writers already, but this latest addition, in whatever capacity he contributes, will just be the icing on the cake.

As I say, a very excited and happy Paul today. Come back tomorrow for Cross Blogination, where I shall be reviewing an album so far outside of my normal tastes that it might as well be a Jedward album.

For all of the ‘big ideas’ that I have on a regular basis, I have a terrible knack of letting the dust settle on them for long enough that I move on from them.  You may have noticed that there has not been a lot of movement on the Blood On The Motorway front recently, so I thought I’d make some promises on here that might spur me into action.

So here goes.  Blood On The Motorway will be launching in January 2010. There, I’ve said it now. Have to live up to it. Can’t go disappointing you now. 

In this spirit I’ve also tried to kick-start some action on my other ‘Untitled Online Project’ that I am doing with some chaps I met on Twitter.  This one seems pretty exciting actually, so hopefully by the end of month one of next year I should have more than enough on my plate.

Around here I’ve decided to make my ‘Letters to Rosie’ a more permanent feature, since they seem to go over pretty well and they are a nice thing for me to do. Hopefully one day she will read them all and decide I’m not such a bad Dad after all.  I’m going to keep it to one a month to start with, but we shall see from there. Cross Blogination is going pretty well, and if anyone else has any ideas for things they would like me to do more of, then let me know.

A few years back, I actually came pretty close to a career in journalism. I was hired by a small company in Leeds to be first a writer for, then editor of a publication called the Asian Express. Not being Asian myself I had a few misgivings, but a job is a job, and this was going to be my first proper paid writing job.

One of my first assignments was to interview Jimmy Saville. Again, a strange thing to do for an Asian newspaper, but apparently he was due to open a new community centre or some such. Jimmy has always been really active in community politics in Leeds, so along I trundled.  As always I was to be both reporter and photographer, and when I got to the venue Jimmy was running late, so I got chatting to a few of the assembled crowd, all of them delighted to be meeting Jimmy.

After an hour or so of waiting, Jimmy turned up suddenly and with no announcement, other than to stand at the doors and say loudly through a cigar filled mouth; ‘Now then, now then.’  The crowd went as bonkers as a collection of Asian businessmen and women can be expected to go.  I started snapping some pics, happy for Jimmy to make his way to me eventually.

This was my first time ever interviewing a celebrity outside of the music scene, and I have to admit I was a bit nervous. I mean, Jimmy Saville. A bona fide celebrity, and a man who was always on the telly when I was growing up. So when he made his way over to me I already had my first question lined up: ‘So Jimmy, how come you never replied to the letter I sent you?’

It seemed quite erudite and witty in my head, but he fixed me with a look that showed exactly how many times he’d heard it. Quick as a flash the look was gone and he smiled that big silly grin of his and replied; ‘Because you forgot to put a stamp on it.’

Pleasantries exchanged and ice awkwardly broken, we continued with the rest of the interview, with both of us enjoying the fact that this was a puff piece of zero consequence. I found him to be a bit odd but hugely likable.  I commented on how fit he looked (not like that) and he told me all about the marathons he runs each year, and about his time as a wrestler.

Once the interview was over, the organisers of the event were hovering close by, clearly wanting to be photographed by me so as to appear in the paper.  I obliged with a few quick snaps. As soon as I was finished, Jimmy motioned that I should get a photo with him. ‘I’m sure you want a photo with me!’ he said, and he had a point. I found someone who was willing to take the shot and went over to Jimmy.

I stood next to him, giving my best ‘look, I’m with Jimmy Saville’ expression, when suddenly his arm went around my neck and placed me into a rock-solid headlock.  I grasped his arm and tried to remove it but it was like a steel cable around my neck. I was being strangled by an old man while a small Asian man took a photo.

After the photo was taken Jimmy released me and patted me on the back, while I spluttered for air. ‘Nice to meet you,’ he said and then he was gone, with me bent double, trying hard to remember how to breathe normally.

Unfortunately, when I left the company many months later, I forgot to take the photo with me, and so I have no photographic proof of the incident, so you’ll just have to take my word for it.

Anyway, the reason I bring this up is that there is a girl in our office who has never heard of Jimmy Saville. When we found this out we stared at her incredulous for a moment. She’s in her early twenties and never seen Jim’ll Fix It, or any of his TOTP episodes, or indeed anything with him in.  Less than ten years behind me and she’d never heard of the magic man who so dominated my childhood.  No matter how many crap impressions we did, photos we showed her, or theme tunes we sang at her prised him from her memory.  If that doesn’t make you feel old, I don’t know what will.

So that was interesting.  The whole 7 days experiment was, I think it’s safe to say, pretty successful, although I will admit defeat on the timescale. I forgot how little I am on the computer over the weekend, and the fact that I had an OU assignment due in at the same time. But overall it’s been lovely to get the feedback that I have, and nice to see the rise in visitors too, but most of all it’s been good to do some writing that has stretched me a little bit.  Some of the topics were quite hard to wrap my head around, so thanks to everyone who left a suggestion, and I hope that you all liked it.

One thing this week has shown me is the potential of this blog, so over the next few weeks I’m going to try some other interesting things. I already have something in the pipeline for a collaboration with a fellow twitterer, which should be up and running in the next week.  In the meantime, as ever, any thoughts on stuff you’d like me to write about are always welcome.  The first issue of Blood On The Motorway is done, second issue is being written, so it wont be long before that starts.

Other than that, the big news for me is that I’m about to say goodbye to Microsoft completely at home. Unfortunately work is another matter, but tonight (or over the weekend) I will be installing Ubuntu on my PC at home, and saying goodbye to the steaming pile of excrement that is Vista.

It’s been a long and slow decline in my relationship with Microsoft.  Like most people like me, who aren’t particularly techie, Windows and its products were always just easier. As the default setting on every PC I’ve ever used (I used a Mac once. Didn’t like it) I learnt the Internet through Explorer, used Media Player to play music, even had a hotmail account, and ‘made do’ with the tools at hand.

It wasn’t until I met Jonic that I realised that there was more out there. I mean I had always known that there were alternatives, but I figured they would be so impossible to use that there wasn’t any point. This is the mythology that Microsoft have perpetuated throughout their history.  But then Jonic showed me Firefox.  It was a joy. Even in its infancy it was smoother and easier to use, and came with an added sense of freedom.

Next up was Gmail, and again a whole new world of usability. I still love Gmail, and am now a bit of a slave to the Google machine. I don’t know what I would do without iGoogle. (Clue: I may get more work done.) But now I’ve decided to take the next step away from the hideous chud of an operating system that is Vista.  I’m sure I don’t need to list its faults here, you will all have heard or seen for yourself.

For someone moving very slowly into the world of tech geekery, the move to a Linux based OS is quite a large step, but I’m determined to do it, and do it on my own.  Wish me luck.

Since my last post I’ve been suffering a slight dearth of inspiration, just in time to coincide with the shiny new website. And so I’ve decided to set myself a mini-challenge.  But it’s going to require a little bit of help from you, dear reader.

For the next seven days I am going to blog about any topic that you see fit to get me to write about. And it can be anything at all, be it a straight question or something a bit more unusual (say for instance Marzipan. Except you can’t do that, I’ve done it already.)

In order for this to work I’m gonna need 7 suggestions at least, so leave a comment or let me know on twitter what you want me to do. If I get more than 7 I’ll pick the best ones.

Get cracking!