Blog On The Motorway

Disclaimer: Before we get started, may I just warn you that this post will not be of any interest to you unless the newest film in the Star Trek franchise made you weep like a small child.

Aint It Cool News is reporting  that Star Trek reboot master JJ Abrams is considering whether or not to include the baddie from the original Star Trek II movie in his second film in the franchise.  Well, I say he is considering it, but the quote they give from Abrams is as much of a denial as it is anything else. As Aaron Sorkin may put it, a non-denial denial.

“While I don’t want to approach the second film as a remake of episodes we’ve seen in the past, and I don’t think any of the other writers or producers are interested in just rehashing or throwing characters in for the sake of it…Khan is certainly the most obvious one in the history of the series for me…I do think that there are…nothing is off limits in terms of what we’re discussing.”

So in other words, yes we know the fanboys would really like this, but we don’t want to do it really, but who knows, maybe we’ll be so stuck for ideas that we’ll just do a tired old rehash and use up all the goodwill we earned on the first film.

May I officially stick my oar in and say for the love of Chekov please do not put Khan in the next movie. Wrath of Khan is easily the benchmark that all Star Trek movies must aspire to, but it was very much a product of that crew (can you have a Khan movie without there being the correlating story from the original series?) and also, the plot revolves around Kirk’s son. How is that gonna work, and still have the relevancy emotionally?

So instead of tackling Khan again, here are my top 5 recommendations for what characters from the Star Trek universe could show up as villains in the second movie:

1. The Borg. Yes, they’re not due to show up for another 100 years or so, but what’s the point of blowing up the timeline if you can’t have a bit of fun with it?  The Borg were the easily the baddest of all Trek baddasses. And besides, would be interesting to see how Kirk would line up against them.

2. Morn. You know, the one who sits at the bar through pretty much every episode of Deep Space Nine without speaking, without anyone knowing what his back-story was, save for that he died with a fortune, but then it turns out he didn’t die.  It would be great to find out that he was previously an arch villain who comes up against the original cast. Bonus points for keeping him as a mute.

3. Wesley Crusher. In which the crew of the enterprise zoom through time to the future Enterprise and then beat seven shades of shit out of Wesley for his dazzling array of shit cardigans and jumpers.

4. They could remake Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, aka the one with the whales. Except this time rather than save the whales they find out that whales are responsible for global warming, which is actually caused by whale song, and spend months trawling the ocean brutally slaying every last one of them.

5. They could have an ORIGINAL FUCKING IDEA! Just a thought.

Anyway, I loved where they went with this year’s reboot, which is probably going to be my film of the year come December, so I have every faith in Abrams being able to provide an excellent sequel. But please, no Khan.