Blog On The Motorway

So first of all, a very happy new year to you all.  Last night was a pretty low key affair, seeing as Ellen was working until 10 at night and then started at 8 this morning, so we made do with a bottle of wine and the car crash of entertainment that was Jools Holland’s Hootenanny, but we still managed to salvage a lovely night out of it.

But of course this being the first day of a new year, you’ll be expecting resolutions, and lots of them. Well, there is one big one, and a few smaller ones. But the main one is a project that starts today, which I would like to officially unveil for you! Year of Health is a joint project my me and Ellen to get fit over the course of a full year. I wont go into any more detail than that for now, but please feel free to visit the site and give us much needed encouragement.

Other than that the big aims are to get Demon Pigeon launched this month (provisional logo artwork is very cool) and to launch the main Blood On The Motorway site by the end of the year.  I will also be gutted if I haven’t passed my driving test and moved house this year.

All in all I’m feeling pretty positive about the year ahead, or at least I would be if I didn’t need a cigarette so badly.  I hope that wherever you are reading this your hangover isn’t too bad, and I hope all my readers have a very happy 2010.

At the beginning of January, in this year of our fictional deity 2009, I set out a few goals that I had for the year. Seeing as it’s now the end of the year, perhaps it’s a good chance for me to look back and see just how I did.

• I will learn to drive.  Not only do I intend to do this, but I intend to pass my test and buy a car: I have started to learn to drive, but only in the last few months, so this one is going to have to roll over into 2010.
• I will start a degree.  I have enrolled on an Open University course in Computing and such related things, and by the end of the year should be onto my second module, and one out of five years closer to increasing my earning potential dramatically: Done!
• I will move house.  Ellen and Rosie and I need somewhere bigger and better to live, with a garden for the little pickle to fall over in without grazing her knees.  And we need to think about school districts and other such boring fare: Not moved house yet, but we’re looking at the next few months. I have to say that the last year in this house has not been too bad though, Ellen got the concrete looking quite nice in the end.
• I will start a band.  This is already in the process of getting underway, but then I’ve been at this stage of assembling a band (all members agreed, about to start rehearsing and it falls apart before we even get a jam) so many times now that I’m going to get this done this year: I really think now is the time for me to realize that this is NEVER going to happen. I think I have finally come to terms with the fact that I will never to an international rock superstar.
• I will work very hard on this site.  I have lots of ideas in mind for what to do with this place, but at the very least I want a redesign and a shift to new hosting done by the end of the year: Job’s a good ‘un, I think.
• I will diversify my sources of income.  This job just ain’t cutting the cheques any more, and I don’t really fancy entering this most overcrowded job market right now, so I will be trying to earn some extra cash.  I haven’t exactly worked out all the details on this yet, but my first thoughts are to get back into writing freelance, and getting into affiliate marketing: While I don’t think they will bring in huge amounts of money, I’m hopeful that the new websites launching in the next few months will go some way to addressing this issue. It’s still something I am interested in
• I will finish my Nano novel.  And not just the first draft, but a full working manuscript that I can start shopping around.  Ideally this should be done by November, as I will be writing book 2 as a Nano novel: I never did get around to it, mainly because I realised it was a bit shit, but work has begun in earnest on Blood On The Motorway, which should be launching this year.

So all in all, it’s been a bit of a mixed bag, but I think that overall I can be pretty pleased with the way that the year has gone . There have been hiccups and setbacks, certainly, but all in all a good year for me and mine. Next year is going to be much more ambitious (more about that in the next few days) in terms of what I will be aiming to do, but having achieved a lot this year I feel much more able to do so.

I shall be doing another one of these ’state of the union’ type things at the beginning of January, but until then, I hope everyone had lovely holidays, and a very Happy New Year to you all.

The current war in the charts for the Christmas number one spot has me conflicted. For those of you who don’t know (in my last post I left out one American in particular and I don’t want to do the same again) in the UK we have a show called X Factor, much the same as American Idol but with just enough format tweaks for it to justify its relabeling. Every year I watch it, for the same reasons that I watch American Idol, because not everything has to be cerebral, sometimes I like to watch dumb shit.  During the show I pick the one contestant who seems to be marginally talented, and then they either win or lose and I never think of them again. It’s just not my cup of tea, music wise, but as an entertainment show it’s gloriously awful and entertaining to watch.

But then the show ends, and the winner releases their single, just in time to trample all over the competition for the Christmas number one. The X factor winner’s single has been Christmas number one for the last five years, all but destroying what used to be an entertaining British pastime, namely talking down the pub with each other who was going to be Christmas number one. It used to be a big deal. I remember being a kid and suddenly the charts seemed quite important around Christmas.. But that’s no longer the case.

Until this year. Sick of the situation, a groundswell movement has to try and get ‘Killing In The Name’ by Rage Against The Machine to be Christmas number one instead.  A ridiculous idea, doomed to failure, except that with over half the week gone, Rage are beating the X factor single by about 40,000 copies. So there’s a very real chance that this could happen.

But enough background, most of you will be going, ‘yes Paul, we know this.’ But anyway, my initial thoughts about this were pretty much against it. For one thing, this is mainly gonna benefit Sony, of whom one of the main people is…Simon Cowell. Both singles are on the same label. Second of all, there is something to be said for the idea that everyone buying the single are behaving with the same sheep-like mentality that the people buying the X factor single are exhibiting, especially given the song’s ‘Fuck you I won’t do what you tell me’ message. And so at first I dismissed it.

But then the other night I was sat on Twitter that all of a sudden it occurred to me that I was looking at it all wrong.  I then considered the situation again.

• Do I love Rage? Yes, unreservedly, they are one of my favourite childhood bands, and they introduced me to both metal and hip hop.
• Would I like them to be number one at Christmas? Totally.
• Do I like the idea of Simon Cowell in a strop? Indeed I do.
• So why don’t you buy the download then? I dunno, how much is it?
• 65p from play.com……

And so I made up my mind, and downloaded a song that I have previously bought three times on CD, once on single, and once on tape.  And now I am hooked, scanning the news hourly for fresh sales figures.  But now, as if to confirm that I made the right decision, Rage appeared on Radio 5 live at 8.50 this morning.  So, just as people were pulling into work, they were greeted with this:

Now I should point out this is decidedly NSFW. But the fact that Rage are back, playing together, and getting to do that on Radio 5 with Nicky Campbell (a horrible little turd if ever there was one) is surely cause for celebration.

So what are you waiting for? Go buy the single!

Hello there everybody, it’s been a while. Those of you who know me personally or follow on Twitter will know that there has been a reason why I have been away for the last fortnight, and to those of you who don’t, my apologies but I’m not going to be in a position to talk about it now either.  Suffice to say that my circumstances have changed fairly dramatically, and not in a good way.

But I’ll be damned if anything is going to let me stop writing a blog that is now in its seventh year (in one form or another) so while I’m not able to talk about the last two weeks in case it in some way affects what is going to happen in the future (not in a ‘Back To The Future’ way, you understand) I am going to  continue to fill the Internet with my opinions on all the stupid thoughts that go tumbling through my head on a regular basis.

Oh, and I’m aware that there are some people reading this who I would now really rather not.  It’s up to you as to whether you continue to read or not. As you have gathered, I wont be writing about anything that will interest you.  If you want to stick around anyway, it’s my web stats you’ll be helping.

But enough of that. I just wanted to say, normal service will henceforth be renewed.

And so we come to that part of the year when the blogosphere goes bat shit crazy for lists, like a cumulative High Fidelity support group, and I am no exception.  I know that there is still a month left of the year, but since this morning I was ordered by Ellen to do no more downloading of albums until after Christmas, lest I ruin a surprise present (I got caught listening to Them Crooked Vultures, which miffed her a bit) if there are any more great albums I wont hear this year anyway.  So, for what it’s worth, these are the ten albums that has been on constant repeat over the last 11 months.

1. Converge – Axe To Fall

Roughly akin to an appendectomy without anaesthetic, Axe To Fall is the world’s greatest hardcore band on blistering and brutal form, their best since 2001’s genre defining Jane Doe.  From the staggering opener ‘Dark Horse’ which sounds like a cross between Iron maiden and an Aids ravaged monkey, to the closer ‘Wretched World’ (co written and performed with Genghis Tron) this is demented and suffocating music to lose your mind to. Brilliant.

 Converge – Axe to Fall video

2. Agoraphobic Nosebleed – Agorapocalypse

If Axe To Fall presents the ultimate in batshit hardcore, then Agorapocalypse takes a run at silliest Grindcore record in history.  Ditching their previous penchant for recording songs no longer than twenty seconds, this etches up the programmed drum machine grindcore frenzy to 11, and introduces the incredibly sexy second vocalist that is Katherine Katz. More traditional than their previous attacks, this is nonetheless the aural equivalent of a knifepoint mugging.

Agoraphobic Nosebleed – Agorapocalypse Now (audio only)

3. Isis – Wavering Radiant

Isis returned to form following the slightly disappointing ‘In The Absence Of Truth’ with another slab of prog infused doom metal, sticking solidly to the tried and tested formula of ‘big riff, slow bit, heavy chorus, now the build, ooooooh fuck I just came a bit there’ that they have stuck with since Oceanic.  But it’s big and beautiful and back to being heavy where it needs to be, and if you’re Isis, that’s all you ever really need to do in my books.

Isis – Threshold of Transformation (audio only)

4. Baroness – Blue Album

Baroness ply a fine line in post-Mastodon bluesy prog metal, and have steadily been making a name for themselves with each record, but here they finally find their groove, with a slightly poppier sound that still contains thick as tar grooves with Foo-Fighters-eqsque songwriting ability.  The wheels come off a little towards the back end, but this is nonetheless a corking bluesy party album.

 Baroness – A Horse Called Golgotha (Video)

5. Kylesa – Static Tensions

Treading a similar southern rock vein to Baroness, but with darker intent and two drummers rather than the more common one, Kylesa return with another cracking album, dark and marauding, sludgy and warm. Hampered (once again) by a slightly shoddy production this is still a cracking mix of Clutch, Mastodon and Neurosis infused doom metal.

Kylesa – Unknown Awareness (audio only)

6. Mastodon – Crack The Skye

I have to admit that as much as I love this album I do feel a little bit disappointed in it, missing as I do the fire and ire of their previous releases. That’s not to say that it’s not mind-blowingly fucking awesome, because it is, but their last two albums have lasted a lot longer that this one did.  Still, the absolutely mental storyline of a man going into space, meeting Rasputin and whatnot, coupled with music that would have Spinal Tap rethinking their own Jazz Odyssey, this is unlike anything else out there, and thoroughly deserving of a top ten place. But if it had had a bit more fire it would have gone to number one without hesitation.

Mastodon – Divinations (Video)

7. Alice In Chains – Black Gives Way to Blue

The return of the icons of my childhood has probably coloured this a little bit for me, but nonetheless this is a cracking album, full of the darkness and pain and misery you would expect. New singer William DuVall slots into the mix effortlessly, and if anything the old vocal harmonies are more prominent than they were with Layne. And A Looking In View is crushing. Since the video is decidedly NSFW however, here is an acoustic performance of the album’s haunting closing track.

Alice In Chains – Black Gives Way To Blue (live acoustic)

8. Pelican – What We All Come To Need

Another year, another great Pelican album, and once again shattering the idea that instrumental music is boring. Great big riffs flowing again and again, relentlessly chasing that perfect moment. Excellent.

Pelican – Glimmer (audio only)

9. Every Time I Die – New Junk Aesthetic

Combining the rage of hardcore with the gutsy swing of Rock and Roll, Every Time I Die are a beast of a band who get better and better each time out, without every radically changing their sound, instead honing their sound until is is a lean and taut killing machine. Awesome stuff, and at a band at full strength.

Every Time I Die – Wanderlust (video)

10. Behemoth – Evangelion

Poland’s demented Behemoth are back for another album of massively heavy death metal that takes itself far too seriously and ends up being utterly hilarious as a result. It is doubtful that you will ever hear such technical prowess outside of this album, and the sheer lunacy of it makes it unparalleled in its brilliance. If you don’t believe me on just how insane these guys are, check out the full-corpse-paint ridiculousness below. Smoke, girls, corpse paint, blood!

Behemoth – Ov Fire and the Void (video) This is also a bit NSFW, but it’s mad, so that’s why I’m putting it up. Consider yourself warned.

So that’s it. Normally there’d be a lot more balance to this sort of thing, but to be honest there’s not been a non-metal album this year that has equalled these ten albums for me.

Cross Blogination is a project I’m doing with twitterthon hero Diary Of A Ledger, the idea being every week one of us will recommend to the other one of our all time favourite albums, which we will then both write a review for. Then every third week we review a suggestion from you lovely people. This weeks installment comes courtesy of Joe Lee, who is himself a recent addition to the blogosphere, so go check him out.

Once again Cross Blogination rolls around and provides me with another album that initially makes my heart sink.  The name of the band, ‘Death Cab For Cutie’ is unassailably emo, right? And aren’t they one of those bands who continually show up on the soundtrack to The OC and Dawson’s and The Hills?

Well thankfully I slip Narrow Stairs into my headphones and find instead a tremendous album, one that melds together the very best parts of American and British indie sensibilities to create a timeless, off kilter album. Opener ‘Bixby Canyon Bridge’ starts things off with a bright breezy feel, like early Fountains of Wayne mixed with the off kilter rhythms of Deus, with the song referencing the works of Jack Kerouac.

Second track (and brave lead single) ‘I will possess your heart’ opens with a jam reminiscent of Kid A-era Radiohead (also check out the front cover for more Radiohead influence), before sneaking up to a sizable chorus that packs heft that one wouldn’t expect from such fey indie types.

Vocalist and songwriter Ben Gibbard holds together all the dissonant parts of the album with his excellent vocals, clean and bright and emotive without ever straying into the hackneyed bleating of his peers.

‘No Sunlight’ is a lovely piece of American pop, again recalling the sensibilities of Fountains of Wayne, with a hint of Ben Folds songwriting. ‘Cath’ is wistful and melancholy without being downbeat, ‘Talking Bird’ is a lovely Elliot Smith by way of Jeff Buckley number, while ‘You Can Do Better Than Me’ recalls the stomp of the Beatles.

‘Grapevine Fires’ is a real highlight of the album, a soaring and epic song, again melancholy without being depressing. ‘Your New Twin Sized Bed’ retains this feel, like a less brittle Elliot Smith, with Remy Zero experimentation (without sucking tremendous balls like Remy do.)  Despite all these reference points, however, the sound is one entirely of their own, beautiful and epic.

If there is a weak point on this album it comes in the form of ninth track ‘Long Division’, which comes across as a very bland radio-friendly hit, and it sits uncomfortably alongside the rest of the album.  This dip in quality is only temporary though, as track ten, ‘Pity And Fear’ is a barnstorming high octane track that calls to mind Weezer and Quicksand, and is for me one of the best tracks on offer here.  Starting off with a throbbing drum track and slowly building guitars, it erupts towards the end before ending suddenly, a result of a snapped tape during recording, which apparently they liked.

After this sudden end, ‘The Ice is Getting Thinner’ rounds things off with a slow and hunting vibe, quite out of keeping with the rest of the album, the guitars sounding much warmer than the sharp sound of the rest of the album. As with the rest of the album the lyrics are excellent and very eloquently sung, the vocals never straying into cliche.

One of the main reasons for doing this blogging experiment was to expose myself to albums that I wouldn’t ordinarily have chosen to listen to, and in Narrow Stairs I have found an album that is sure to survive not just the reviewing process, but which I imagine will become a vital part of my music collection.  In turns odd, accessible, surprising and moving, this is a great introduction to band I would imagine I will be becoming more familiar with over the coming months.

4/5

Now head over to Gray’s place, and see what he made of it.  This being more his cup of tea at first glance, I imagine he likes it.

A manic week this week, so things have been a bit erratic around here. Monday’s post got shunted because I normally write these when I am on my lunch break, but about two hours before lunch I got asked to take my first driving lesson, as Ellen couldn’t make it.  And so with no mental preparation I took my first driving lesson in 13 years, when my parents bought me ten lessons for my 17th birthday.

I was a little bit rusty, and couldn’t really remember where everything was or how to work it, but I got the hang of it again pretty quickly, doing left and right turns, junctions and even second gear, all on my first attempt. I only stalled twice as well, so all things considered I was pretty chuffed.

It was all a million miles away from my last lesson, when I nearly turned myself and my utterly incompetent driving instructor into a giant moving fireball. Coming up to a junction I slowed, only to be told I could make it, so I gunned it and went from second to third gear, only to miss and stick it in fifth. Due the steep hill we were on it caught, and suddenly we were hurtling at 70mph towards a stream of slow moving traffic.

My instructor’s response to this was to scream loudly at me, like Steve Martin in Planes Trains and Automobiles, so perhaps you will understand why it’s taken me thirteen years to get back into a car. But I digress.

I decided to make up for this with a double post yesterday, although the more observant of you will have noticed that only one surfaced.  Cross Blogination was written yesterday (hopefully it will surface tonight) but rather than having a nice night in last night, I spent the evening at York District Hospital, as my daughter hobbled around and me and her Mum sat waiting.

Anyway, everything is all right, there’s nothing wrong with Rosie, but it got me thinking that surely the hospital visit is a rite of passage for any parent. Chances are that we will all end up there with our children for something or another, and I couldn’t help but feel thankful that we have been so lucky with her. 

She is two and half now, and there’s been (touch wood) nothing major so far, while we have seen other parents go through nightmares.  I know for any readers across the pond that today is Thanksgiving, so while I utterly abhor the way you celebrate the genocide of your indigenous peoples with mashed potatoes with little marshmallows in, I can join in today in at least giving thanks.

I love Gaming. Everything about it appeals. The immersive nature, the potential for huge epic storytelling. The culture surrounding it, it all appeals to me. Everything except playing the bloody things.  Unfortunately the ability to play computer games is something that ‘purists’ consider to be quite an integral part of the culture.

It’s always been the same. When I was a kid my friends and I would got to hang out for hours at the Trocadero in London, and they would endlessly pump money into the machines for hours on end, while I inevitably got bored and hankered for a few hours browsing Tower Records while they totted up kill after kill on Mortal Kombat 2.

When everyone started getting consoles I always seemed to have the wrong one. Everyone else got a Game Boy. I got a Lynx. You couldn’t even get games for it after about six months.  Eventually I got a SNES, and there were a few games I actually enjoyed for a while.  But then I grew up a bit, and computer games never managed to hold my attention in the way film and music did.

A few years ago I moved in with one of my best friends, a pretty hardcore gamer who would disappear for days at a time whenever a new Resident Evil or Final Fantasy game came out, and I started to hanker again for the ability to do what he did. It always had a sheen of glamour to me, like a secret club I didn’t know the password for.

I got an Xbox, but I ended up using it more as a DVD player, the only game I ever completed was Halo, on Easy setting.  I sold it, and used the money to buy a DVD player, on the logic that it wouldn’t make so much noise when I was watching a Buffy DVD marathon.  And so I retired from the world of gaming, and whenever my friends started talking about their latest immersive world I would simply glaze over, or try to change the conversation.  Besides, I was approaching 30, surely the time to abandon such childish pursuits.

Then my girlfriend bought me a shiny Xbox 360 for Christmas last year, and over the last 11 months the guilt has been building up in me again. It looks at me with its unblinking green eye as if to say; ‘Why don’t you ever use me properly? Yes I may make your DVD’s look a bit nicer, but that’s not what I’m here for and you damn well know it.’  And every time I turned it on up would come my gamerscore, pitifully low.

The came Charlie Brooker’s Gameswipe, and I realised that I must be among the world’s best informed non-gamers. He made the world of gaming look like everything I knew deep down that it was.  The recent release of Modern Warfare 2 only compounded my outsider feel, with seemingly all my friends, my work colleagues and my twitter feed speaking of nothing else.

And so it’s time to make a change. This next year is going to be all about self improvement for me, and in every way that is going to to take me on a road that makes me more adult, more healthy, a more productive member of society.  But if I am going to do everything in one year, I’m also going to try to do this. Become a gamer. A casual gamer perhaps, but I want in.

To that end I have already made my first tentative steps.  I asked my friends to lend me some games that might suit my novice level, and ease me in slowly.  I have started with The Bourne Conspiracy, based on the films (obviously) and over the past week have found myself getting more and more drawn into its world, and more and more capable of negotiating it.  I am still playing on trainee level for now, but I’m getting there.

The old hang ups are still there, of course. I get ridulously impatient when I can’t pass an obstacle, or solve a simple puzzle. Last night I got killed repeatedly by the same end of level baddie (curse his knife wielding skills) but eventually I threw him out of an aeroplane, as you do.  I still feel that the Xbox is mocking me from time to time, but now it’s for being shit at playing a game, rather than ignoring its tremendous potential. I may fall at the next hurdle again, and it may become nothing more than a noisy DVD player again, cracked open only for occasional games of Scene It, but for now I can count myself as being that one step closer to the ultimate in geek. The Gamer.

After some deliberation the decision has been made that now is the time to unleash onto the world our new project, so get down on your knees, and make Demon Pigeon your new God.

That is not to say that we’ve gone live with it just yet, but more that we’re getting quite bored of not telling anyone about it.  Besides, it might be a good idea to build expectations, so that we can roundly let those same expectations down when we launch in January.

To wit, expect nothing short of the greatest website that your eyes have ever witnessed, and prepare those same eyes to weep with unbridled joy at the marvellous spectacle. Oceans will shift, cities will be levelled. Women and children will tremble in fear.  Governments will fall.  It’s all gonna be a bit epic, to be honest.

So what is Demon Pigeon, you may well ask yourselves.  Well at the moment it’s a holding page, but come January the somethingth (we’re not altogether decided on that) it will be a metal site, chocked full of news, reviews, interviews and more.  Unlike other sites out there, we will also be covering areas that are of general interest to metalheads, from books to comics to film to art.

But who these magnificent bastards who will be helping me with this endeavour?  You may well ask.  My Co-Editor and all round fancy gent is Daniel Cairns, and he will also be running the new @demon_pigeon Twitter feed.  If you are on Twitter, go follow us now, since Dan is a lot funnier than I am. 

As well as this we also have Games Junkie extraordinaire Andi Hamilton. And no, it’s not the little writer of Drop The Dead Donkey, and yes, I’m as disappointed as you are.  Also joining us is Noel Oxford, writer extraordinaire, and fellow escapee with Dan from another metal site.  Rounding out the team is Dom Sohor, who will be making the whole place look awesome with his lovely shiny visuals, and occasionally words too.  Go check out his gallery, it’s full of awesome.

So that’s the big news that I couldn’t tell you, so consider yourselves duly told. If any of you are massively disappointed by this, you know what to do.

So again I have to say that my brain is currently totally tapped out, due to having to think about too many things, all the time.  My normally docile brain has been suddenly expected to leap into action on a number of different fronts, and so as I sit down to write this blog I can think of absolutely no topic to ramble on about. So instead I shall ramble on about nothing.

Yesterday something happened which made me a little nervous about the series of tasks which I have chosen to undertake. I was writing some stuff for BOTM, trying to get a good amount of stuff down in advance of launching, when I found that nothing good was coming to me. I had written 500 words of badly written Dan Brown nonsense, all short sentences with no joy in them whatsoever.

Normally once I have sat down to write I am fine. My version of writer’s block is closer to writer’s avoidance. Once I actually sit down, it all comes tumbling out of me faster than I can type, but yesterday what wrote was so utterly terrible that I deleted the whole lot without thinking.  I hope that my brain has not atrophied from neglect. That would be awful.  No need to panic just yet though.

Yesterday was the finale of Generation Kill, and I’ve written about it often enough that I don’t feel I can let its end go unmentioned. It was predictably brilliant. Subtle and complex, with no easy resolutions, but with excellent insight into our recent misadventures in that region.  Highly recommended. I am definitely going to search the book out.

I spent a small section of my day yesterday waiting in a waiting room, surrounded by sick people. It’s as though the medical establishment thought to themselves that the best way to get people out of waiting rooms would be to make them dens of interminable despair, where you are cocooned in with lots of people who are ill of a variety of different ailments while unadorned walls of grey seem to close in on you. Since the Swine Flu panic started they have become even worse, with no leaflets or magazines available to pass them time, so you spend the whole time glowering at those people who have the temerity to cough or sneeze in your presence.  I coughed at one point, and nearly found myself reassuring everyone that it was simply a smoker’s cough.

So that’s about it really. I shall continue to trundle through the day with zero enthusiasm, and hope that tomorrow I feel like skipping through fields of daisies. Metaphorically speaking of course, since Daisies are thin on the ground in winter, and it’s cold out, and besides I’m not really the skipping kind of person.