Blog On The Motorway

It’s been a pretty big year so far, all told.  I don’t really need to go into it, I’m sure you’re well aware.  However, Year of Health has recently lost Ellen as a contributor, and to be honest has not been updated nearly enough.  One of the issues is that it’s not the most wildly exciting topic to write about, and now that Ellen’s not doing it any more, I am now left with the prospect of having two entirely seperate blogs.  And since Demon Pigeon started, I already have less to write about here, with all the music and film talk migrating over there.

So, one of the things I really need to do if redefine this place.  And one of the first things I am going to do is ask you, my loyal readership, for your opinion.  Firstly, what do you think I should do with this place?  I have had a blog far too long to get rid of it now, and yet I find it very hard to find things that would be interesting enough to share with you, my dewar and loyal readers, who are far too discerning and intelligent a breed to fob off with half formed thoughts and gibberish.  See what I did there? I paid you a compliment, now answer my question.

But before you do, I do have a second question, and this one is much more important. I am debating with myself the merits of taking on a further stupid project (not another website, don’t worry) this time in relation to Year of Health.  It’s something that ties in really well with what I am already doing, and will give me added impetus now that the initial stages are complete (I think it’s safe to say I am a non-smoker now.)  But what I have in mind will also require the selection of a charity to do it for.

But which one?  I do have a few favourite causes that I could do it for, NSPCC, Oxfam, Amnesty etc.  But to be honest the money I raise will probably be not very high, and certainly for these sorts of organisations nothing to write home about.  If I am going to do this (and I must stress I haven’t decided to do it yet) I would like it to be for a smaller organisation that would really benefit from the tawdry and pitiful amount that I will be raising.  I was really inspired by what Gray did with Twitterthon, doing it all for a small organisation that most of the people who donated had never had any cause to donate to.  The problem is that I have no real personal ties to any such organisation.

So here’s what I would like.  If you could recommend a charity to me, along with the reason that you think it’s worthy of support, and whoever does the best job of convincing me will be the winner.  Not particularly democratic, maybe, but that’s how I roll baby.  Ideally I am looking for something small, and maybe a bit out there.  But I leave it in your capable hands.

So, it seems that after my post yesterday that I now have a shiny new phone, identical to Ellen’s, and I have spent much of the last twelve hours loading it with apps, and giggling inanely like a schoolboy.  I would offer you a review of this lovely and rather splendid piece of equipment, but that would mean spending less time playing with it, so that’s not going to happen.

What I will say is that having had it for nearly a full day, I’ve not actually put any of my old numbers onto it because I have been too busy playing with all the non-phone features, so if you are one of my real-life friends, expect a message soon. But only once I’ve finished playing with it.

Ellen has a new phone, and the response it has engendered in me has not been pretty.  It’s one of those all-singing HTC Android phones that falls under the title ’smartphone.’ And by Christ is it smart.  Up until I saw it I actually thought that my lovely LG phone that I have had for the past year was quite good.  It allowed me to look on the internet and everything.  Ellen’s phone makes my LG look like a Jackson 5 reunion, absolutely surplus to requirement.  Added to this that the software is all Google, my online brand of choice, and it makes this new intruder into my home seem like a wanton hussy, flirting with me while my old phone sits in the corner of the room and weeps.

Now I don’t intend to run through all the reasons that the HTC is so good, but trust me, it’s every bit as nice as an iPhone, with the added benefit of you not looking a complete ballache by holding it. (Sorry Gray, couldn’t resist) but it has gotten me thinking about just how much the internet has become a part of my life in the few short years since Jonic took me aside and really explained it all to me.  Right now if I had Ellen’s phone I would be streaming music on my Spotify while scrobbling to my last.fm, updating my twitter and facebook in one swoop and reading the 60 odd blogs I have on my Google Reader.  And that’s even before we get to the three websites I now run.

I honestly don’t know how I would cope now, without the Internet.  I mean, I’m old enough to remember a time when there was no Internet, at least not for me.  For a good few years we just didn’t have the net at home, and I didn’t have access at work, and I was fine. Possibly had a bit more free time as well.  But the idea of never speaking to someone I have never met on twitter ever again, or discovering what new music is out there at the touch of a button, to not have these things now would terrify me.  And yet at the same time I know that I have barely scratched the surface of the wonderful world of the Internet.

At the same time, I do look at little Rosie and wonder exactly what this new interconnected world is going to mean to her.  Obviously, she’s going to grow up an a house where information and connectivity are a big part of her world, and by the time she gets to school the world will no doubt have moved on dramatically once more.  It’s an exciting time. But anyway, I don’t really know where I am going with this, except to say that my envy of Ellen’s new phone made me sit up and think hard about how dependent on the net I am these days, and how that seems to me to be a very positive thing.  As one of the readers of this here blog, you are a very big part of why I love it. So cheers.

Cross Blogination is a project I’m doing with twitterthon hero Diary Of A Ledger, the idea being every week one of us will recommend to the other one of our all time favourite albums, which we will then both write a review for. Then every third week we review a suggestion from you lovely people. Or at least, that was how it was working, until I took on far too much stuff and we went over two months without doing it. But thank the fictional man in the sky of your choice, because we are back, and because it’s my choice, and it’s a belter.

Josh Homme. You probably know him as the guy from Queens of the Stone Age. Or maybe you know him as that fella who is not as famous as the other two guys from Them Crooked Vultures. But to me, he will always be that Ginger Elvis guitar player from the greatest Stoner band to ever have lived, Kyuss.

I got this album on the recommendation of Kerrang! Magazine, back in the day when you actually used to do things like recommend old albums that are awesome, rather than touting the new emo boyband. I was on holiday and bored, so I went to HMV and purchased this, then went home to sit in the back garden with a book, and stuck my headphones in.

What was to assault my ears was to change my music tastes forever. Right from the start, when the riff from ‘Gardenia’ kicks in, nothing I had ever heard before could have prepared me for ‘that’ guitar sound, which was roughly akin to having treacle poured into my ears. Rich, warm, heavy as a motherfucker, I don’t think I’ve reacted so primally to album before or since. And that was even before the dulcet tones of John ‘The Voice’ Garcia swept over, with his stream of consciousness meandering lyrics.

But if the first song on this album is staggering in its excellence, it is nothing compared to the next two tracks. ‘Asteroid’ is a crushingly heavy instrumental that sees Josh Homme showing exactly why Kyuss fans will never be entirely satisfied with his subsequent output. Marrying Mogwai like subtlety to the biggest riff ever written, it’s like being battered around the head by a balloon filled with custard in a sensory deprivation tank. And track three, the excellently titled ‘Supa Scoopa And The Mighty Scoop’ brings back Garcia to what can only be described as the perfect distillation of Black Sabbath and the Doors, with false endings stretching out the joy to the point where you can’t help but giggle.

The album itself is structured as three separate acts, with these three tracks serving as the first. I could wax lyrical all day about the other seven tracks on offer here, but then I will be here all day. Safe to say that the quality never lets up here, from the punk fuzz of 100%, to the seven minute epic sprawl of ‘Space Cadet’ (seriously Josh, when was the last time you wrote something that good? Please do so again) where Josh and bassist Scott Reeder jam out something as close to perfection as makes no odds, to ‘Demon Cleaner’ which is a gloriously laid back fuzzed out pop song. Or the crushing weight of ‘Odyssey’s riff, or, well, pretty much the whole album.

If you’ve never heard Kyuss, but you like Queens of the Stone Age, or really any rock music, I beseech you to search this out, as well as the other Kyuss albums (well, maybe except Wretch, which is a bit shit in truth) and enter the collosally heavy world of Californian Stoner rock.  You wont regret it, and don’t worry, you need take no substances to enjoy it properly (although if you are of that persuasion, this album gets ten times better still when you are high.)

Now, don’t forget to go and see what Gray thinks of this!

So it’s official, I am utterly shit.

Having promised not to let my extracurricular activities preclude me from updating this place, the truth is that Year of Health and Demon Pigeon (not to mention the fallout of that business at the tail end of last year) have been keeping me pretty busy of late. Incidentally, both sites are now live, and I have to say I’m pretty pleased with the results, both in terms of the lifestyle change that Year Of Health has enacted within me, and in how Demon Pigeon has turned out, given it’s my first foray into the wider world of ‘doing the internet’ properly. If you haven’t done so yet, do go check them out.

But enough of the digital pimping, what else is new with me? Well, I’m in a new job, so that’s nice. Things are going pretty well at the moment, although I’m bloody knackered by the end of the day. Ellen got me the complete Buffy box set for Christmas, and to my pleasant surprise she’s really enjoying watching it with me at the minute, and we’re not even up to the bit in season two when it all gets really bloody good. You know the one, where the person does the thing? Yeah, you know. Don’t pretend you don’t.

I saw Avatar twice at the cinema, both times in 3d. The first time I was staggered by the sheer beauty of it, and the second time I realised that under all that brightly coloured 3d fauna there lay at the heart of it a distinctly average film. I’m going to be interviewing one of my all time favourite bands, and even if it is going to be via email that’s pretty bloody cool. Oh, and I’ve become a Gleek.

So I just wanted to pop by and let you all know that I’m still here, which I am, and that I fully intend to update this more often, well aware as I am that I owe you good people a lot of Cross Blogination posts. The fact that it’s my turn as well should spur me on a bit.

So how are all of you?

So first of all, a very happy new year to you all.  Last night was a pretty low key affair, seeing as Ellen was working until 10 at night and then started at 8 this morning, so we made do with a bottle of wine and the car crash of entertainment that was Jools Holland’s Hootenanny, but we still managed to salvage a lovely night out of it.

But of course this being the first day of a new year, you’ll be expecting resolutions, and lots of them. Well, there is one big one, and a few smaller ones. But the main one is a project that starts today, which I would like to officially unveil for you! Year of Health is a joint project my me and Ellen to get fit over the course of a full year. I wont go into any more detail than that for now, but please feel free to visit the site and give us much needed encouragement.

Other than that the big aims are to get Demon Pigeon launched this month (provisional logo artwork is very cool) and to launch the main Blood On The Motorway site by the end of the year.  I will also be gutted if I haven’t passed my driving test and moved house this year.

All in all I’m feeling pretty positive about the year ahead, or at least I would be if I didn’t need a cigarette so badly.  I hope that wherever you are reading this your hangover isn’t too bad, and I hope all my readers have a very happy 2010.

At the beginning of January, in this year of our fictional deity 2009, I set out a few goals that I had for the year. Seeing as it’s now the end of the year, perhaps it’s a good chance for me to look back and see just how I did.

• I will learn to drive.  Not only do I intend to do this, but I intend to pass my test and buy a car: I have started to learn to drive, but only in the last few months, so this one is going to have to roll over into 2010.
• I will start a degree.  I have enrolled on an Open University course in Computing and such related things, and by the end of the year should be onto my second module, and one out of five years closer to increasing my earning potential dramatically: Done!
• I will move house.  Ellen and Rosie and I need somewhere bigger and better to live, with a garden for the little pickle to fall over in without grazing her knees.  And we need to think about school districts and other such boring fare: Not moved house yet, but we’re looking at the next few months. I have to say that the last year in this house has not been too bad though, Ellen got the concrete looking quite nice in the end.
• I will start a band.  This is already in the process of getting underway, but then I’ve been at this stage of assembling a band (all members agreed, about to start rehearsing and it falls apart before we even get a jam) so many times now that I’m going to get this done this year: I really think now is the time for me to realize that this is NEVER going to happen. I think I have finally come to terms with the fact that I will never to an international rock superstar.
• I will work very hard on this site.  I have lots of ideas in mind for what to do with this place, but at the very least I want a redesign and a shift to new hosting done by the end of the year: Job’s a good ‘un, I think.
• I will diversify my sources of income.  This job just ain’t cutting the cheques any more, and I don’t really fancy entering this most overcrowded job market right now, so I will be trying to earn some extra cash.  I haven’t exactly worked out all the details on this yet, but my first thoughts are to get back into writing freelance, and getting into affiliate marketing: While I don’t think they will bring in huge amounts of money, I’m hopeful that the new websites launching in the next few months will go some way to addressing this issue. It’s still something I am interested in
• I will finish my Nano novel.  And not just the first draft, but a full working manuscript that I can start shopping around.  Ideally this should be done by November, as I will be writing book 2 as a Nano novel: I never did get around to it, mainly because I realised it was a bit shit, but work has begun in earnest on Blood On The Motorway, which should be launching this year.

So all in all, it’s been a bit of a mixed bag, but I think that overall I can be pretty pleased with the way that the year has gone . There have been hiccups and setbacks, certainly, but all in all a good year for me and mine. Next year is going to be much more ambitious (more about that in the next few days) in terms of what I will be aiming to do, but having achieved a lot this year I feel much more able to do so.

I shall be doing another one of these ’state of the union’ type things at the beginning of January, but until then, I hope everyone had lovely holidays, and a very Happy New Year to you all.

The current war in the charts for the Christmas number one spot has me conflicted. For those of you who don’t know (in my last post I left out one American in particular and I don’t want to do the same again) in the UK we have a show called X Factor, much the same as American Idol but with just enough format tweaks for it to justify its relabeling. Every year I watch it, for the same reasons that I watch American Idol, because not everything has to be cerebral, sometimes I like to watch dumb shit.  During the show I pick the one contestant who seems to be marginally talented, and then they either win or lose and I never think of them again. It’s just not my cup of tea, music wise, but as an entertainment show it’s gloriously awful and entertaining to watch.

But then the show ends, and the winner releases their single, just in time to trample all over the competition for the Christmas number one. The X factor winner’s single has been Christmas number one for the last five years, all but destroying what used to be an entertaining British pastime, namely talking down the pub with each other who was going to be Christmas number one. It used to be a big deal. I remember being a kid and suddenly the charts seemed quite important around Christmas.. But that’s no longer the case.

Until this year. Sick of the situation, a groundswell movement has to try and get ‘Killing In The Name’ by Rage Against The Machine to be Christmas number one instead.  A ridiculous idea, doomed to failure, except that with over half the week gone, Rage are beating the X factor single by about 40,000 copies. So there’s a very real chance that this could happen.

But enough background, most of you will be going, ‘yes Paul, we know this.’ But anyway, my initial thoughts about this were pretty much against it. For one thing, this is mainly gonna benefit Sony, of whom one of the main people is…Simon Cowell. Both singles are on the same label. Second of all, there is something to be said for the idea that everyone buying the single are behaving with the same sheep-like mentality that the people buying the X factor single are exhibiting, especially given the song’s ‘Fuck you I won’t do what you tell me’ message. And so at first I dismissed it.

But then the other night I was sat on Twitter that all of a sudden it occurred to me that I was looking at it all wrong.  I then considered the situation again.

• Do I love Rage? Yes, unreservedly, they are one of my favourite childhood bands, and they introduced me to both metal and hip hop.
• Would I like them to be number one at Christmas? Totally.
• Do I like the idea of Simon Cowell in a strop? Indeed I do.
• So why don’t you buy the download then? I dunno, how much is it?
• 65p from play.com……

And so I made up my mind, and downloaded a song that I have previously bought three times on CD, once on single, and once on tape.  And now I am hooked, scanning the news hourly for fresh sales figures.  But now, as if to confirm that I made the right decision, Rage appeared on Radio 5 live at 8.50 this morning.  So, just as people were pulling into work, they were greeted with this:

Now I should point out this is decidedly NSFW. But the fact that Rage are back, playing together, and getting to do that on Radio 5 with Nicky Campbell (a horrible little turd if ever there was one) is surely cause for celebration.

So what are you waiting for? Go buy the single!

Hello there everybody, it’s been a while. Those of you who know me personally or follow on Twitter will know that there has been a reason why I have been away for the last fortnight, and to those of you who don’t, my apologies but I’m not going to be in a position to talk about it now either.  Suffice to say that my circumstances have changed fairly dramatically, and not in a good way.

But I’ll be damned if anything is going to let me stop writing a blog that is now in its seventh year (in one form or another) so while I’m not able to talk about the last two weeks in case it in some way affects what is going to happen in the future (not in a ‘Back To The Future’ way, you understand) I am going to  continue to fill the Internet with my opinions on all the stupid thoughts that go tumbling through my head on a regular basis.

Oh, and I’m aware that there are some people reading this who I would now really rather not.  It’s up to you as to whether you continue to read or not. As you have gathered, I wont be writing about anything that will interest you.  If you want to stick around anyway, it’s my web stats you’ll be helping.

But enough of that. I just wanted to say, normal service will henceforth be renewed.

And so we come to that part of the year when the blogosphere goes bat shit crazy for lists, like a cumulative High Fidelity support group, and I am no exception.  I know that there is still a month left of the year, but since this morning I was ordered by Ellen to do no more downloading of albums until after Christmas, lest I ruin a surprise present (I got caught listening to Them Crooked Vultures, which miffed her a bit) if there are any more great albums I wont hear this year anyway.  So, for what it’s worth, these are the ten albums that has been on constant repeat over the last 11 months.

1. Converge – Axe To Fall

Roughly akin to an appendectomy without anaesthetic, Axe To Fall is the world’s greatest hardcore band on blistering and brutal form, their best since 2001’s genre defining Jane Doe.  From the staggering opener ‘Dark Horse’ which sounds like a cross between Iron maiden and an Aids ravaged monkey, to the closer ‘Wretched World’ (co written and performed with Genghis Tron) this is demented and suffocating music to lose your mind to. Brilliant.

 Converge – Axe to Fall video

2. Agoraphobic Nosebleed – Agorapocalypse

If Axe To Fall presents the ultimate in batshit hardcore, then Agorapocalypse takes a run at silliest Grindcore record in history.  Ditching their previous penchant for recording songs no longer than twenty seconds, this etches up the programmed drum machine grindcore frenzy to 11, and introduces the incredibly sexy second vocalist that is Katherine Katz. More traditional than their previous attacks, this is nonetheless the aural equivalent of a knifepoint mugging.

Agoraphobic Nosebleed – Agorapocalypse Now (audio only)

3. Isis – Wavering Radiant

Isis returned to form following the slightly disappointing ‘In The Absence Of Truth’ with another slab of prog infused doom metal, sticking solidly to the tried and tested formula of ‘big riff, slow bit, heavy chorus, now the build, ooooooh fuck I just came a bit there’ that they have stuck with since Oceanic.  But it’s big and beautiful and back to being heavy where it needs to be, and if you’re Isis, that’s all you ever really need to do in my books.

Isis – Threshold of Transformation (audio only)

4. Baroness – Blue Album

Baroness ply a fine line in post-Mastodon bluesy prog metal, and have steadily been making a name for themselves with each record, but here they finally find their groove, with a slightly poppier sound that still contains thick as tar grooves with Foo-Fighters-eqsque songwriting ability.  The wheels come off a little towards the back end, but this is nonetheless a corking bluesy party album.

 Baroness – A Horse Called Golgotha (Video)

5. Kylesa – Static Tensions

Treading a similar southern rock vein to Baroness, but with darker intent and two drummers rather than the more common one, Kylesa return with another cracking album, dark and marauding, sludgy and warm. Hampered (once again) by a slightly shoddy production this is still a cracking mix of Clutch, Mastodon and Neurosis infused doom metal.

Kylesa – Unknown Awareness (audio only)

6. Mastodon – Crack The Skye

I have to admit that as much as I love this album I do feel a little bit disappointed in it, missing as I do the fire and ire of their previous releases. That’s not to say that it’s not mind-blowingly fucking awesome, because it is, but their last two albums have lasted a lot longer that this one did.  Still, the absolutely mental storyline of a man going into space, meeting Rasputin and whatnot, coupled with music that would have Spinal Tap rethinking their own Jazz Odyssey, this is unlike anything else out there, and thoroughly deserving of a top ten place. But if it had had a bit more fire it would have gone to number one without hesitation.

Mastodon – Divinations (Video)

7. Alice In Chains – Black Gives Way to Blue

The return of the icons of my childhood has probably coloured this a little bit for me, but nonetheless this is a cracking album, full of the darkness and pain and misery you would expect. New singer William DuVall slots into the mix effortlessly, and if anything the old vocal harmonies are more prominent than they were with Layne. And A Looking In View is crushing. Since the video is decidedly NSFW however, here is an acoustic performance of the album’s haunting closing track.

Alice In Chains – Black Gives Way To Blue (live acoustic)

8. Pelican – What We All Come To Need

Another year, another great Pelican album, and once again shattering the idea that instrumental music is boring. Great big riffs flowing again and again, relentlessly chasing that perfect moment. Excellent.

Pelican – Glimmer (audio only)

9. Every Time I Die – New Junk Aesthetic

Combining the rage of hardcore with the gutsy swing of Rock and Roll, Every Time I Die are a beast of a band who get better and better each time out, without every radically changing their sound, instead honing their sound until is is a lean and taut killing machine. Awesome stuff, and at a band at full strength.

Every Time I Die – Wanderlust (video)

10. Behemoth – Evangelion

Poland’s demented Behemoth are back for another album of massively heavy death metal that takes itself far too seriously and ends up being utterly hilarious as a result. It is doubtful that you will ever hear such technical prowess outside of this album, and the sheer lunacy of it makes it unparalleled in its brilliance. If you don’t believe me on just how insane these guys are, check out the full-corpse-paint ridiculousness below. Smoke, girls, corpse paint, blood!

Behemoth – Ov Fire and the Void (video) This is also a bit NSFW, but it’s mad, so that’s why I’m putting it up. Consider yourself warned.

So that’s it. Normally there’d be a lot more balance to this sort of thing, but to be honest there’s not been a non-metal album this year that has equalled these ten albums for me.